Apostolic Sermon Excerpt

My former pastor severely rebuked me several times for things I did not do, and if I said I wasn't guilty, or sometimes even before I would deny what he accused me of, he'd say "so you think you're smarter than your pastor, hmmm?" and demand an answer- only "no, sir" was acceptable. There were quite a few of those types of questions, phrased very manipulatively. If I answered his way, it would imply I was wicked. If I refused, I was disobedient.

He'd rebuke me till I was sobbing, and then tell me I was "so emotional" or "so negative"... but when I was physically shaking (like the night he cancelled my wedding), he would say I was strong and could take it.

I did tend to be clingy- I wanted to prove I wasn't what he said I was. When I realized he was a bully and started avoiding him and refused to cry in his office, most of the private rebukes stopped. I'd get so sick about his possible "counseling sessions" after services that I would take Dramamine or Bonine (travel sickness over the counter medicine- basically mild nerve pills) to keep from being physically sick in service (and thus making it worse by going to the bathroom several times during service, which would also lead to a rebuke).

After the second major rebuke (see part two of my story), I promised myself that if he did it again, I'd leave. For just over a year, things were better. I tried to do everything just right and to be as unnoticed as possible. Then one morning, a man who'd made me uncomfortable by e-mailing his resume and calling me "dearest," watching me at church, and asking me via e-mail whether I'd considered what it would be like if we were a couple, sat down across the aisle from my normal seat. I moved to the other side of the church that morning. As a result, when someone asked what the pastor was referring to and I responded... I was noticed.

After the following sermon, I bought the CD. I wanted to know if I was really overreacting and being negative or not. It took a couple weeks to get the CD, and a couple more for me to listen to it. When I did, I finally knew I wasn't overreacting. Not at all. The following is a partial transcription of the sermon described in part two of my experience. I've added a brief commentary in italics where it might benefit a reader, and omitted names.

The Sermon

"...It wasn't one of those ERA spirits. And I know a lot of those ladies got quiet at camp when Bro ____ was preaching on that spirit the other night. (A lady asked me what the camp preacher said. I replied, "He said 'He that desireth a wife desireth a good thing. Thing.' He called us things. That's why no one stood up." That is ALL I said. Watch what happens...)

I'll do the preaching around here. You don't need to tell her what I just said! Excuse me. I'll tell you what I just said. Excuse me! Quit running your mouth while I'm preaching! She still hasn't... she still don't know I'm talking to her. I hope. Hmm? He was preaching on a women's lib spirit! God never expected a woman to run the house! God never intended for a woman to be a man!

Sit down! I'm mad now! He ain't preachin, he's mad. God gets mad, too. God hates, too. Prov 6:16. Hates. And if God hates 'em, and if I'm an ambassador of Christ, I hate 'em. And if God's message is a message of "I hate these things" - well, his messenger is gonna preach the same message! God hates those things. But this messenger is not preaching it because it's a message. I hate them, too. Because I love God. I love His word. I love His ways.

Sit down. If they have any questions, let them ask their husbands at home. That's in your Bible. That means shut your mouth while I'm preaching. That's why some of you ain't married. You don't want no man talking to you. You don't want no man telling you what to do. And that's why some of you are not happily married. Oh, it's your day, woman. Can you take it... (laughs) I was gonna say take it like a man. (laughs again)

Now watch this. A man wears the pants in the family. You may be seated. Two things God can't stand: a henpecked husband and a bossy... A bossy woman and a henpecked man. And I'm not wearing pink shorts. I don't shave my legs! And I don't talk like this. (he uses a high squeaky voice) May be seated. You know why these men are standing? Because they don't wanna be identified with a homosexual spirit. (No, homosexuality was never mentioned until this point.) An effeminate spirit and attitude. Because they're men and they're every bit a man and they want you and everybody else not to make any mistake about it. You may be seated. And women oughta shout the same way when I get on that bossy woman spirit. And that woman running the house and running her mouth spirit.

The man was on it the other night. They used to shout like men shouted because they didn't wanna be identified with a lesbian spirit. (No, that's NOT what he said.) And I saw you ask her what did he say or what's he talking about, and it took her five minutes to tell her one sentence. (Wrong again. 10-20 seconds. I've timed it.) I only said one sentence. I don't need an amplified version or a commentary on what I'm preaching. Shut your mouth while I'm preaching! You ain't got no husband to tell you what to do, but you got a pastor that's gonna tell you what to do. Give the Lord a good hand clap. I'm not gonna be messed with in this church.

Biblically, you can't tell that man nothing. You can entreat him, you can talk to him, you can entreat him as a husband, about anything you want. I know I'm right. But the buck stops here. He makes the final decision.

And the kids are coming in, I won't get to the next part, withholding yourself. You're sinning. You're going to Hell. You're no better than a prostitute. You're no better than a prostitute when you do that. Oh, if the price is right she'll do it, too. Get QUIET on me! Come on! You wanna be identified with that lesbian spirit?! You really wanna control a man? You may be seated!

I'll tell you how to control a man. Give him that beautiful eye look. Oh, God! I can't look right now... (Starts flirting with his wife.)

How in the world? Poor Hannah! She didn't have no lesbian spirit... How come... OH, I remember how we got on... All right. Here we go..." (back to Hannah and original preaching)"

Below is the actual audio of this sermon which was quoted. If you forward part one to the 4:16 mark, it will be right where the rant starts. It continues into part two.

Other articles from former members of Faith Tabernacle Apostolic Church are available. One woman's experience may be read here. Elizabeth Smith's experience may be read here. Also available are videos from a former Faith Tabernacle member.

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Posted November 13, 2011 & Updated May 1, 2016

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