Love And Respect by Emerson Eggerichs Part Nineteen

Installment #19 Love & Respect

I'm going to call this the "I'm the boss" section because that's basically what Eggerichs is writing about here:

"Men see themselves as "over" their families. That is why a husband is extra sensitive during conflicts." (pg 341 LP)

"If you want a Love and Respect marriage, do not argue or fight against hierarchy." (pg 344)

"The wife is called upon to defer to her husband....as the responsible head..." (pg 351)

"When somebody has to call the shots, the husband is responsible to do it." (pg 355)

"He is the leader, the one in authority." (pg 357)

Ok, I think we have the point he is trying to make here. First of all, there is nowhere, NOWHERE in scripture where a man is commanded to "lead" his wife. He is commanded to love his wife. There is nowhere in scripture where it is says that "he is the boss." It does say in Genesis 3 that the result of the fall would be husband ruling over his wife. But that's a result of the fall.

Ironically, after making pages of points about how he is the boss, Eggerichs states "This does not put you down or undermine your equality; in fact, it will create real equality." And that wives should "go on record that your husband is 51% in charge." (pg 359) So, this is just funny. The way to have real equality is to let the husband be in charge. In order to be equal he has to have more. Does anyone else feel like the math ain't mathing??

Something else I find ironic is that Eggerichs seems to have no problem with women taking work off of their husbands plate. After making a big deal about men being the provider, he then says "Often, both spouses have to work just to keep the bills paid." (pg 337) Instead of following his own logic and saying that if men are the providers, they should actually provide, he gives men an out (again) BUT he says to women "This is a tremendous bargaining chip that tempts her to think she isn't being treated "equal enough." So....I guess this is Eggerich math. He provides. But hey, it's tough so she can provide, too. HOWEVER, in order to be truly equal, he still has to have more. Huh? This is some very black and white thinking in order to attempt to make his logic work and yet the math still ain't mathing. (Even if the man provided 100% of the finances, the math still ain't mathing).

This writing is the copyright of Lynne Johnson-Yohnk and was posted with her permission. It was originally posted on her Paradigm Shift Page. Additional articles may be viewed here.

Page added December 25, 2025

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