I Was So Robbed

I was trying to sleep last night when the thought came to me.
Strongly. Gently. Validatingly. Truthfully.
I have been robbed.

I was first robbed as a small girl and was told "You weren't so robbed", "It wasn't that big of a deal." "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill."
And so I listened to others. Parents. Relatives. Society.
I tried it on for size. "I wasn't so robbed". "It wasn't that big of a deal."
I wore it. I believed it.
Whenever I was robbed, small or sometimes large infractions, I remembered the message. "I wasn't so robbed." "It wasn't that big of a deal."
I made myself smaller.

As I was further robbed in the journey of life I remembered the words. "It wasn't that big of a deal."
I became smaller and smaller.
When others came to me saying they had been robbed I remembered the words. "You weren't so robbed." "It wasn't that big of a deal." I assured them.
Smaller and smaller.
Smaller and smaller.
I became so small I fairly disappeared.

"I wasn't so robbed." As I said the words I was smiled upon by others. As I told them to others I felt cognitive dissonance. "Get in line-You weren't so robbed." I was helping. "Make yourself smaller."

When I could no longer become any smaller, I felt the words come to me. "You were so robbed."
"What?", I said, "Impossible."
But the words became louder.

My ability to become smaller clashed with the ever growing words "You were so robbed." I tried to make the words fit in like they had in the past and I could see they would fit no longer. "I wasn't so robbed." I said with clenched teeth, tears streaming down my face and an exhaustion that seeped into every pore. Every cell.

"I. Was. So. Robbed". The words, starting silently at first, became louder and louder. They still did not push. They were not a clanging cacophony. They were gentle but strong. When I thought about them I felt everything align. Things felt balanced.

"I. Was. So. Robbed."

But how would I face the multitudes who told me I wasn't so robbed? What would happen?
I put out a little toe. I said I was so robbed. Immediately, axes fell towards my toe trying to chop it off, but, I realized the axes were phantoms and they could not really reach my toe. They were a loud banging cacophany that had no power.

So, I put out a foot. An ankle. A knee.

Maybe someday my whole body will be out there. "I was so robbed."

This writing is the copyright of Lynne Johnson-Yohnk and was posted with her permission. Additional articles may be viewed here.

Page added December 8, 2025

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