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OLDER FEEDBACK I thought that some might be interested in reading old guest book entries I have received in response to this web site. I have partially removed the e-mail addresses since these writings are old and many are probably now invalid. Typos have not been corrected. Saturday 03/23/2002 7:36:30pm Name: Doug Mallett E-Mail: svdbgrc@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Yahoo search Comments: Wonderful web site. Spiritual abuse is running rampant in many churches and this is one of the major issues that we have ran across in the last four years of online counseling ministry. We are committed to helping in bringing back those who were once bought into the liberty of Christ who had been put back under bondage through "spiritual abuse". God bless you as you continue to reach out to those who had been devastate through false teachings and abusive practices. In his Grace, Doug Mallett (Pastor OAM) Sunday 03/17/2002 10:12:32pm Name: James M. Skipper E-Mail: skipperja@ Referred By: E-Mail Location: Pearland, Texas near Houston Comments: Lois, it appears that your site is meeting a great need. Thank you for sending me the URL again. Even though I haven't been involved with the UPC, I am in a very conservative church. I read much of what you had written previously and you have a great Christian witness. Now that I have the URL again, I'm going to read through your site again. Jim Friday 03/15/2002 3:50:20pm Name: Lyn Lanz E-Mail: llanz@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Comments: I ran across your site by accident but was so glad to read your testimony. My husband and I are UPC survivors also. I know God led us into that church for a reason, but a few years later He led us out too. We saw all the hypocrisy and self-righteousness and unfortunately my 2 daughters were brainwashed before I realized it and wouldn't listen to us anymore. They obeyed only that one pastor who rules with an iron hand. They do use condemnation and fear tactics and they have made so many of their own man-made rules that aren't scriptural that it made me literally sick. But the grace and goodness of God led us out and He now teaches us everything we need to learn. Keep up the good work. We have many of the same testimonies you have had and we pray that you be blessed as you have blessed many who have read your articles and visited this site!! Thursday 03/14/2002 11:27:10pm Name: Mandi E-Mail: hawhaw_verynice@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: IN Comments: I just want to thank you for putting up this site. I plan on leaving the UPCI and I am having some struggles with the standards. Your information is logical and helpful in my decision. Wednesday 03/13/2002 2:13:09pm Name: Emma E-Mail: Almaraz_emma@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Comments: Live for God! Nothing else matters. Thursday 03/07/2002 10:15:10am Name: Candy E-Mail: doglover1956@ Referred By: Friend Location: Illinois Comments: My husband was raised the same way you were, and eventually rebelled against church altogether because of it. Since our marriage, we had been looking for a church to go to. We are fortunate to have found the First Christian Church, and love it very much. Our pastor recommended we look up this sight in order to help my husband get past his fear of being doomed for the rest of his life, so that he can move on. He desperately wants to have spirituality in his life again, but can't get past the horrid things he was led to believe growing up in the UPC. He has been struggling with what he was taught as a child all of his adult life, and it interfears with his mental stability. We will follow our minister's advice, and read the books you have recommended. Thank you for all your help. We thank God for people like you! Tuesday 03/05/2002 7:02:01am Name: Natalie Colon E-Mail: ncolon1@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Orlando, FL Comments: Hey Lois! I've never signed your guestbook before. So, I thought now would be appropriate since you've updated quite a bit on the site. I just want to thank you publicly for the work you do and thank you for your friendship, which means so much to me. I'm so glad that God led me to your site and allowed me to see for myself, through the Scriptures, the Truth of His mercy and grace. Again, thank you, Lois, for the work you do and may you continue in the path He's prepared for you. Monday 03/04/2002 2:20:11pm Name: Susan E-Mail: doublesevens6161@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Comments: So glad to finally find you. My sister and I are survivors of the UPC church and Spiritual Abuse. Thank you for your site and information on this very inportant subject. Thursday 01/24/2002 3:51:26pm Name: Donna Reagan E-Mail: donna_reagan@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Comments: This is a very positive site that should be helpful to many. Thank you for having it here. Tuesday 12/18/2001 1:12:22am Name: SSG John David Maher (NVARNG) E-Mail: jftdv@ Referred By: Web Ring Location: Reno, Nevada Comments: I just reviewd the pictures of the 2001 UPCI general conference. It is obvious that there needs to be more Prayer and fasting (especially the FASTING!!!!!). Friday 12/14/2001 1:21:38am Name: carlson E-Mail: gfcar@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: rockford,ill Comments: son in upc Monday 12/03/2001 8:27:18pm Name: Clinton W Alexander E-Mail: goody2shoes48607@ Referred By: E-Mail Location: Comments: Great website Lois. Clinton Tuesday 11/13/2001 0:32:53am Name: Jeff E-Mail: Nowear2runorhide@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: St. Louis, Mo. Comments: I was raised in the UPCI a 4th generation, I left the church 10 yrs. ago. My parents and other family are still in it. My parents never preach to me though and I love them for it, they have never passed judgment on others that they still associate with that left the UPC. They are good people. My parents are deaf and I was so much a part of the church throughout my childhood and I have many fond memories. I don't believe that God is all about the outward apperance and how far a stick is up your *** to make it. UPC lacks love and kidness. They don't have the power of God in thier hearts only in thier minds. Yet thier are a small few members (like my parents) who are real Christians and really love the Lord and don't do silly things like point fingers and play Sunday Christian or even put on a front that your saved and not a sinner if you have the look on the outside. I love the music and the free worship in the UPC, but I can't be a part of it, I just don't believe in a lot of thier standards. Like they have always preached against TV and how it was violent and full of sin, my father told many pastors he needs a tv like they need a radio he can't hear, he needs to know what's going on. Yet I find out the UPCI has a web site Imagine that... I'm so confused, isn't the internet full of sin? I e-mailed them and they couldn't give me a real answer they said that it was a great way to get thier message across, I said what about all those years when people who were deaf or in the hospital or handicapped or even those who were never witnessed to, why didn't you use tv and have a program or ad to promote yourself? No answer from "The Chosen Church"(UPCI). I loved the music of Petra still do, I remember when me and the youth pastor and my parents had a discussion over them, they were not of God they had long hair and played hard rock, so I had to throw them away. Petra was and still is very uplifting. And the funny thing is UPCI will listen and even include in thier services Ray Boltz and Carman these 2 are not UPCI. Thier standards are all screwed up, it's like saying water is bad for you and wrong but we need to be clean (that was stupid, but I couldn't think, I'm so wound up). Lastly I want to put a warning to those with small children in the UPCI, from my expierence they were very good at drilling fear into me. I remember when my parents would leave me home with my brother and if they were not back in 30 mins. I thought the rapture took place and I was left behind to burn in Hell cause I did something wrong. Talk to your children make sure that they are not afraid. For all these reasons and years of denial I realized the UPC is a cult they warp people to thier own ideals and beliefs and I don't believe God wants us to live in fear. I am just getting back with God and I hope to find a spirit filled church without the ridicoulous rules. Thanks for allowing me to share my story, It's good to know how others feel. God loves us all Monday 11/05/2001 9:10:52pm Name: Sherry LaBounty E-Mail: sklbnty@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Warner, OK Comments: I haven't seen the entire site yet. Looks like there's much to read and meditate on. Friday 11/02/2001 9:19:55am Name: LTC Angel R. De Jesus E-Mail: ardejesus@ Referred By: Friend Location: Apple Valley, CA Comments: I am thankful that this site is available. There are hundreds of former UPCI members that have lived lives of despair due to the abuses, ignorance and false teachings of the UPCI (although I still believe in the scriptural accuracy of Jesus name baptism). I am 51 years old and it has taken me over 30 years to overcome the malpractice at the hands of autocratic UPCI leaders. Leaders who sincerely believe that UPCI holds the monopoly on salvation. God bless you. Continue your efforts. Wednesday 10/17/2001 6:15:42pm Name: LISA E-Mail: CALINDA@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: FRESNO Comments: I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AT A UPC.CHURCH. WE WERE HAVING REVIVAL FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS WITH A YOUNG MAN ANOINTED BY GOD CAME AND PREACHED. IT WAS ABOUT THE 3RD. SERVICE I CAME TO WITH MY MOM. THAT HE SAID THAT THERE WAS SOMEONE IN THIS CHURCH WHO DID NOT HAVE ANY FOOD IN THEIR CUBBARDS AND DID NOT WANT TO SAY. SO HE TOLD US TO COME AND LAY OUR WALLETS & PURSES ON THE ALTER SO WE CAN PRAY FOR OUR FINANCES AND FAMILIES. SO ONE FAMILY AT A TIME WENT UP THERE TO PRAY. HE SAID THAT HE HAD NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE BUT THAT FELT IN THE HOLY GHOST TO DO IT. ONCE EVERYBODY PRAYED HE SAID GOD WANTS TO BLESS US BUT WE HAVE TO GIVE SACRIFICALLY. HE KNEW THAT WE PROBABLY DIDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY BUT JUST TO GIVE WHAT GOD IMPRESSED ON US TO GIVE. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO GIVE SACRIFICIALLY. HE SAID THAT HE DID NOT WHAT ANY OF THE MONEY ON THE ALTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE GIVEN TO MISSIONS. AFTER WE DID THAT WE PRAYED AND THEN HE FELT IT STRONG IN HIS HEART THAT GOD WANTS TO BLESS US. BUT THAT THERE WAS SOMEONE IN THIS CHURCH WHO HAS SIN IN THEIR LIFE. HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT A SINNER JUST COMING INTO THE CHURCH BUT SOMEONE WHO IS IN THE CHURCH. HE SAID REPENT" AND I WISHED I HAD BLIND FOLDS NOT TO SEE WHO IT WAS. BUT THAT HE KNEW WHO IT WAS. SO HE JUST TOLD US TO PRAY. THEN HE SAID AH YOUR JUST GOING TO BRUSH THIS OFF. YOUR GOING TO HINDER THIS REVIVAL "REPENT". HE WENT TO THE PASTOR OF THE CHURCH AND ASKED IS THIS ALRIGHT AM I IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU TO SPEAK WHAT GOD HAS LAID ON MY HEART. HE SAID PREACH. EVERYONE WAS QUIET. THEN HE SAID WE ARE GOING TO DISMISS. AND WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU DON'T COME BACK TO CHURCH ON TUES. NIGHT WE'LL KNOW IT WAS YOU. MY MOM AND I WENT HOME THINKING IS IT ME THAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT OR YOU. I COULD'NT TAKE IT ANY MORE BECAUSE THEY SAID THEY KNEW WHO IT WAS. SO I TOLD MY MOM SHOULD I ASK TO SEE IF IT IS ME. SHE SAID I DON'T KNOW. SO I DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND CALL THE PASTOR. AND I ASKED HIM HOW ARE YOU DOING HE SAID FINE. I JUST WANTED TO ASK IS IT ME. HE SAID WHY ARE YOU SINNING. I SAID NO BUT I DO LUST AT TIMES BECAUSE I DON'T GET ENOUGH ATTENTION AT HOME. BUT THAT I DID'NT SIN. BUT THAT I DO GO TO THE CASINO FROM TIME TO TIME AND I TAKE MY MOM SOMETIMES CAUSE IT'S FUN AND ENTERTAINING TO ME AND I WASN'T ADDICTED TO IT. I SEE IT LIKE AN ARCADE. HE SAID IT WAS SIN AND I SHOULDN'T BE GOING. I SAID OK I WON'T GO ANYMORE AND THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO TRUST IN MACHINES TO BLESS ME WITH MONEY ANYMORE. SO WHEN YOU GUYS CALLED FOR US TO GIVE SACIFICALLY I GAVE WHAT I WAS GOING TO WASTE AT THE CASINO AFTER CHURCH. BUT IT GOT LATE AND I DIDN'T GO AFTERALL. MAYBE GOD KEPT ME IN CHURCH LONGER SO I WOULDN'T GO TO THE CASINO. HE SAID THAT I HAVE BEEN IN THE CHURCH A VERY LONG TIME AND THAT IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO START WEARING MY SLEEVES A LITTLE LONGER AND NO SLITS ON MY SKIRTS AND NO MAKEUP AND GROW UP ALREADY. I WAS SAD AND HE SAID I DON'T WANT TO BE IN YOUR PITY PARTIES ABOUT YOURSELF. SO HE SAID LETS PRAY AND THEN HE SAID FOR TO FAST AND COME BACK TO CHURCH ON TUES. NIGHT. HE SAID THAT I WAS 98% WITH GOD AND I NEEDED TO MAKE THOSE CHANGES. I TOLD HIM I DID'NT HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY LONGER SLEEVE BLOUSES RIGHT NOW. HE SAID YOU'LL GET MONEY SOME DAY THEN YOU COULD BUY THEM. I FELT THAT NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT PERCENTAGE I AM WITH GOD CAUSE GOD ONLY KNOWS MY HEART AND NOT HIM. SO WE SAID OUR GOODBUYS AND HUNG UP. BUT I DID NOT FEEL LIKE GOING BACK TO CHURCH AFTER WHAT HE TOLD ME. SO I DIDN'T GO. SO I'M JUST HERE THINKING AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE THINGS OF GOD. JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS FOR THIS PROBLEM. I DON'T FEEL LIKE WEARING LONGER SLEEVES I'M NOT SHOWING ANYTHING BUT MY ARMS. HE TOLD TO WAER THEM AT LEAST TO MY ELBOWS. I JUST FEEL CONTROLLED AND NOT HAPPY. IS IT ME JUST NOT RIGHT WITH GOD AND DO I REALLY HAVE A WRONG SPIRIT. GOD BLESS YOU IN JESUS NAME. HELP ME DO THE RIGHT THING. Tuesday 10/16/2001 10:43:37am Name: Frank and Mary Hebert E-Mail: sjcdaily@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Hillsdale, Hillsdale County, MI 49242 Comments: Very good site, very comprehensive material. A genuine blessing to the Body of Christ in the Apostolic churches. Bless you, in Jesus' Name. Saturday 09/08/2001 7:25:21pm Name: anonymous sister in Christ E-Mail: anonymous Referred By: Search Engine Location: Northeast (NY state) Comments: I found this site to be informative and so helpful. I am struggling with attending church, and those whom I am associated with. Primarily I'm the only Christian who is not as mature in the faith as the others there. (It's a small church.) Any "unGodly" activities are secretly scorned and forbidden by church members, and if you fail to demonstrate your "faithfulness to the church" thru "giving of your time and tithe" in the Pastor's words (tithing, attending all events, services, bible study, etc. and doing nothing but going to church, work, eating, sleeping, praying and studying the Bible) you are deemed as "walking in the flesh," rebellious and unfit for service in the church. I was going to give my name but decided against it, as those in the churches I attended who know me might discover this site, see my name and talk about me to their church friends. It has been difficult for me to find another church as I've been to 2 different churches, both non-UPC but similar in their operation, and felt rejected and controlled. I've been gossipped about and lied to. Mostly I've been accused of many things, some right and some wrong. But I have not been allowed to explain myself, nor have been seen as acceptable yet. Please keep me in prayer. Praise God for your articles and please keep up the great work! :) :) Another sis in Christ who has been there too Tuesday 09/04/2001 1:07:47pm/p> Name: Cosechia E-Mail: cosechia_2001@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Oklahoma Comments: Hello! I just wanted to say that I think the ONLY good part about this website is the UPC beliefs that is all that is true on here. Because the person that started this site has just let the devil poke and prevoke him/her until they can't forgive those that has hurt them. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive the ones who have hurt you so bad. Your Sister in the Lord, Cosechia God bless you all Thursday 08/30/2001 3:37:25pm Name: Michel Paul E-Mail: michelpaulcomis@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Montreal,Canada Comments: In these last days abuse is abounding and I d'ont know how to realy fully express myself on what I have seen in the upci of my city I have personnaly seen the judgement of God on these abusive ministers who never seem to change their ways.There is doctrinal truth of course but you can hold the truth in unrighteousness.And play with people and be destructive to them.E-mail me. Monday 08/06/2001 0:45:41am Name: Amelita E-Mail: amelitasue@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Indiana Comments: Hello, I found your site by accident and have been thinking about you and your situation for days now. I log onto your site everynight and read more info. I have a couple things for you to think about...I mean NO disrespect!! 1. Have you ever read the book of Job?? 2. Have you ever read in the bible on how to forgive people that have wronged you? (Matthew 18:22) seventy times seven. 3. Because of the lack of concern and love for those that have wronged you and also for your bashing of the UPC standards and doctrine, do you believe you will ever hear......"Well done my good and faithful servant!" Raised Baptist/Living Apostolic Pentecostal Amelita from Indiana Friday 07/27/2001 6:25:18pm Name: Norman Fikes E-Mail: norbob@ Referred By: Search Engine Location:/p> Comments: I was in the false doctrine of the United Pentecostal Church for twelve years. I have finished one booklet on my experience and almost finished another. Thursday 07/05/2001 8:43:03am Name: Billy E-Mail: Referred By: Search Engine Location: Comments: I have been a member of the UPC church all of my life. In fact, my family goes back all the way to the fourth generation. I have looked, theologically, at both sides of the fence; Trinitarian and Oneness both. I have also studied out the Bible intensly, memorizing over 9 books of the Bible. So I can say without hesitation that the UPCI teaches the ful Truth about the plan of salvation. I have never seen any of this alleged "spiritual abuse" that is on this site. I am 29 years old, and I love Jesus with all of my heart. We stand with the 12 apostles of the lamb on baptism into the Name of Jesus. There is only ONE NAME to be saved by (Acts 4:12) and God has sent the Holy Ghost into the hearts of those who truly hunger for His presence. For 1,500 years, before the reformation, let us not forget that Christianity baptised for the remission of sins. Read the writings of the church fathers, even Tertullian who was the father of the trinitarian doctrine, and you will understand that. So the UPC teaches that baptism INTO the Name of the LORD Jesus, is as Peter said in Acts 2:38 "for the remission of sins." About the "holiness standards", let us not forget either, that all of the christian churches at one point taught what we now still teach. So I suppose if holiness standards make the UPC a "cult", then all of Christianity was a "cult", even the church fathers, especially Tertullian, who himself wrote against attending the Roman theatres and women wearing makeup in his writings. I strongly challenge anyone reading this, to read the N.T. with an open heart and see what the Lord will show you. God bless you all on your search for the TRUTH. Tuesday 06/26/2001 10:13:13pm Name: dandi/p> E-Mail: chippergirl99@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: KS Comments: I am very sorry to hear of your experience with the UPC organization. However, I grew up UPC until I was about 11. My family backslid and I was in the world until my first year of college. I can truly and wholeheartedly say that there is no feeling like the feeling I have in a UPC church. Until the day I was refilled with the Holy Ghost there was a missing piece in my heart. Please don't use your "bad experience" as a tool to blind others from the truth. I have never been spritually abused and I have a great pastor! I hope God turns your eyes back to the truth...God bless! Saturday 06/09/2001 11:22:21am Name: penny E-Mail: whitedov@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: schulenburg, texas Comments: thank you for your web site! my husband and i have been in minisrty for about 11 years and we eventually opened a christian bookstore and coffee house in victoria, tx. we were told from one church that we cannot have a ministry because we had no authority from a church to do so. that we needed to have the churches covering and accountability. we had never heard of these things before and really didn't pay it much mind until other churches started saying the same things. then eventually people were told not to frequent our place, we just did not know what to think. i started searching scripture and asking God where was this in the Bible. i cannot find anything even resembling this teaching. has anyone else heard of this, and even if this were a correct teaching why were we rejected. God does not reject us, and the greatest comand is to LOVE ONE ANOTHER! i felt no love at all, and if they felt we were out of the will of God then why did not one leader of any of these churches ever come and talk to us, pray with us or even see where our hearts were at in anything we were doing? thanks! Penny Thursday 05/24/2001 11:49:25pm Name: Web Shepherd E-Mail: Referred By: Search Engine Location: Rockville, MD Comments: MontroseBaptist.Org is a site established to offer love, hope and education to those who have been wacked-upside-the-head with the 2x4 of spiritual abuse, but still love God. Recently, we changed our look and feel to create an online community which gives registers users the ability to: * post articles * use or add to our 320+ web links * laugh at our parodies * submit reviews of boooks and materials * use aliases instead of real names We're hoping that opening up participation to the users will provide those who are hurting the support they need to get back into God's work. So please visit us at: http://www.montrosebaptist.org. Friday 04/27/2001 11:45:50am Name: Cheryl L. E-Mail: truthaboutpk@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Gulf South Comments: I am looking for a page dealing with spiritual abuse in Southern Bapist churches. Thank you. Wednesday 04/11/2001 11:19:26am Name: Pastor Kurt R. Howland E-Mail: kurthowland@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Florida Comments: I was pleased to see you are using my article on Controlling Behavior. I Wish you well with your site and if I can be of any help please contact me. Monday 03/26/2001 1:10:04am Name: Rev.John Foshee E-Mail: mightyway@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Ohio-usa Comments: We need more sites like yours!Please put a link to your site from ours at: http://pub5.bravenet.com/freelink/show.php?usernum=344812712&cpv=1 God Bless!Rev.John Wednesday 03/21/2001 1:38:14pm Name: william strawcutter E-Mail: wstrawcutter@ Referred By: Friend Location: Comments: I enjoyed checking out your page and was intrigued by your opinions. I stumbled upon your site when someone told me there was an article/post about the Rev. Rick Strawcutter. I'd like to see what it says out of curiousity. Thanks and God bless...and good luck finding the peace of mind that your looking for. Tuesday 03/13/2001 8:50:11pm Name: Marlon E-Mail: mcemt423@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Pennsylvania Comments: This is an interesting site that you have here. I have enjoyed my visit and I am glad to see that you have sought out the truth in the Word of God. Continue to seek the wisdom of God... "Proverbs 4:7" Friday 03/09/2001 9:13:21pm Name: Lynn E-Mail: maria5540@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Comments: I'm very sorry that this happened to you,but not all are the same.My church is one big family it does not matter what you wear or how you look.At the North Charleston Church of God we are as one,spreading the love and word of God!I asked the lord 2yrs ago to help me find a place that I could go to ,to hear the word and to feel him entering the room and he has done just that.Thank you for your time and I shall pray that you all find the same. God Bless,Lynn Sunday 02/25/2001 10:43:53pm Name: FORMER UPCI MEMBER E-Mail: Referred By: Web Ring Location: AMARILLO TX Comments: I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHO MAINTAINS THIS SITE, IT IS MUCH NEEDED. I SPENT TOO MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE HEARING HOW EVIL, SINFUL AND CARNAL I WAS AND I STILL SUFFER FROM THE EMOTIONAL SCARS FROM THAT. THE UPC IS MORE CONCERNED WITH CONTROLLING THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCHES THEN SHARING THE MESSAGE OF CALVARY. THE PASTOR I WAS MANIPULATED BY WAS VERY MONEY-HUNGRY AND A TOTAL CONTROL FREAK. THERE WERE AT ONE TIME ALMOST 2,000 PEOPLE IN HIS CHURCH AND NOW THE MEMBERSHIP IS DOWN TO LESS THAN 100. BECAUSE THE MORE PEOPLE HE HAD UNDER HIS CONTROL, THE HARDER IT WAS TO GET THEM BRAIN-WASHED BEFORE THEY SAW WHAT HE REALLY IS LIKE. I WAS BROUGHT UP IN THE CHURCH AND I SAW SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN THAT MADE ME SICK.... I KNOW THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT, BUT THE LEADERSHIP NEEDS TO TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE AND REMEMBER THEY ARE SITTING AN EXAMPLE FOR THE MEMBERS TO FOLLOW. I HAVE BEEN SHUNNED SINCE I LEFT THE CHURCH AND PEOPLE I THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE STRANGERS TO ME. I PRAY THAT EVERYONE THAT READS THIS WILL NOT WASTE YEARS OF THEIR LIVES LIVING UNDER THE SHADOW OF THE UPC. THE UPC TRYS TO BRAIN WASH PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING IF YOU LEAVE, YOUR ONLY HOPE IS TO COME BACK TO THEM. THEY ARE REALLY A VERY ARROGANT ORGANIZATION AND I DON'T MISS BEING YELLED AT DURING A SERMON. I ALSO DON'T MISS THE PASTOR TALKING ABOUT THE POSSIBLILTY OF GOD GIVING HIM A VISION OF A PERSON SINNING SO THE PASTOR CAN CONFRONT THE PERSON JUST BASED ON HIS VISION. THE PASTOR WANTS PEOPLE TO THINK HE CAN GET REPORTS FROM GOD ON WHO HAS BEEN "SINNING". I AM GLAD I CAN SEE NOW WHAT THE UPC IS, A CULT. Sunday 02/25/2001 6:51:07pm Name: Betty E-Mail: a_bakergirl@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Comments: Lois, I have spent a couple of days browsing your site. I am a former UPC member. I still have good friends who still attend UPC churches and also others who have left because of conflicting issues. Your site has been very informative to me. I still do believe in the Acts 2:38 experience, and baptism in Jesus name. Questions I still have not come to a conclusion on are,"What is holy? How do I walk in God's standard of holiness to please him and not man? I want his spirit to shine and not my own. There are many issues that made me decide to leave the church I had been attending. I believe everyone who was attending our church at the time including the Pastor, loves the Lord, and with the knowledge they know are preaching and teaching what they know to be true. I'm still searching to see ...what is that good and acceptable will of God. Thank you, your site has been a very informative one. God Bless you as you continue in your work for the Lord. Monday 02/12/2001 4:47:32pm Name: Liz Danya E-Mail: Spazzy814@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: NJ Comments: Hi Lois, I just want to say that I'm very glad to see your site. The dedication and effort you've shown toward this topic will surely be of some comfort to those who seek and need it. Especially those who feel very isolated and rejected in their suffering. Maybe sometime in the future I too will be brave enough to write about my experience of the abuse I still ache from. For now, and for the last 10 years or so, it is still a tender subject. I'm what you would call a "church hopper" still searching for my place! Looking back, even in my most darkest hours (and there have been quite a few!), when I thought I had sinned so bad that there could be no forgiveness, that hell would surely come and suck me out of this world. When I needed the comforting touch of the prayers of the saints gathered around me, and was denied... I still was able to hear His kind gentle voice, even in the midst of facing harsh judgement and condemnation for my imperfections and human weaknesses (which were also many!), and a very deep depression, He was always there. It just took me a while to sort out His truth from the many falsities, to realize just how much He really was with me through it all, even though I was told by many that He was not. So until He comes for me, which He will, because He promised me so, walking with Him has become more simple. We must always ask ourselves how many times do we forgive our fellow beings? Well..., how many times would we ourselves like to be forgiven? How many times would we like others to judge us and pick us apart for our shortcomings? There it is! Not so hard afterall, to remember to just pray for one another, and see the simplicities of Gods plan, and that He alone sacrificed himself for us and only He will be our judge and give us the answers we seek. What we are responsible for is to love Him, know Him, and serve Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Through His word, in love, truth, and knowledge He will take care of the rest. It is so easy to get caught up in layers of minute technicalities and standards of human protocols, that we can loose sight of what our real objective was in the first place! Most of us need to have a place in this world where we feel part of. Inadvertantly, we forget to be kind to each other as Jesus would have us be. We start trying to please man instead of God! Which can turn out to be very costly and spiritually dangerous. We must constantly be on guard to never loose sight of our FIRST love, which is Jesus. I'll always put my trust in Him and in His word. I pray always that in my research and studies that I see His truth, not what truth I want there to be. Did not Jesus himself say that "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge?". I teach my children to do their own research and seek the truth in their hearts. I may still be roaming about, but Jesus will guide me to where He wants me to be. Sometimes, when I think on some of the things I have experienced in my old church, I even have to chuckle. What wasn't so funny then appears to be so silly now. He has returned my laughter! My family and I love God, and together we share in His love...Unconditionally. Even in writing this (not so little) note, I found a small release in doing so. I Thank you for your sincerity and devotion on this, a most sensitive and oftentimes painful topic. Liz Danya Wednesday 01/24/2001 7:07:28pm Name: Mel E-Mail: Referred By: Search Engine Location: NC Comments: Greetings... I am a survivor of an Independent, fundamental Pentecostal Church, based out of Jeffersonville, Indiana. The holiness standards was merely the tip of the iceberg. Like so many I have seen/met via the net who are SOSA, I can't believe how deceived I had been, and how subtle their clutches were. My turning point was when I was told, living a holy life 24/7, attending every service, bible study, prayer meetings, fasting & praying the remainder of my waking hours, I could still be cast out into outer darkness. Can it get any more encouraging than that? I gave up my career, my family, my home to serve there. When I was sick, between jobs, no food, no anything, (because I gave it all to them, and they took it), not one soul helped me, but rather, indicated I was receiving the judgement of God for some unknown sin. It was a southern baptist woman who gave me a food basket one thanksgiving. Until then, we had piously snubbed our holy noses at anyone with short hair, wore makeup, etc.... HOWEVER... When this woman helped me in my greatest time of need, and hugged me, I knew I had found true Christian love and charity. It was time to weigh things out in my own "only WE are the Bride of Christ" church. I am greatly disheartened, and even after 7 years having left that church, I hurt deeply with feelings of deception. I don't pray anymore, nor do I attend church. I am yet on the road of healing, I suppose. Mel Friday 01/19/2001 2:36:01am Name: virginia E-Mail: virginiay@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Hong Kong Comments: Hi. I liked your articles and research. True, spiritual abuse is something more that occurs more often then we imagine. In traditionally conservative Chinese society, spiritual abuse found the perfect soil. I saw a Christian that is so upset that he wanted to give up his faith. About women's hair and covering: ha ha, that "Baptist" word nonsense. I think he is from the very fundamentalist part of the bigger population of Baptists. I as a Baptist never heard any such teachings before. (I cut my hear once every 2 months, short.... ,many Chinese ladies cut their hair short too because Summer here is hot and long hair is difficult to take care). I always find it hard to believe that one can get so fussy about trivial things (hair length??) -- except the Pharisees who "perfected" this act of making big fuss about trivial things. I once was called "un-Christian" because I: 1) wore short hair 2) like to wear pants/jeans/T-shirts a lot of my time 3) teach Sunday schools to grown-up man (college students) I just ignore them. Wednesday 01/17/2001 8:42:11pm Name: David Rhodus E-Mail: drhodus@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Louisiana Comments: I am not a member of a UPC church, but I believe their doctrine. This site sounds to me like the teachers mentioned in II Timothy 4:3. I will be leaving this site now as my ears are not itching. Sunday 01/14/2001 9:14:36pm Name: debra weddle E-Mail: legacy_77@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Comments: Our family recently left an extremely controlling, abusive, and manipulative word of faith church - which i now know was a cult. We had attended there for 16 years. Our struggles have been great, but we are learning so much more about the things of God and His true nature and heart. We are still questioning everything we have been taught in the past and feel like we're starting over because we've been taught so much extremism - so much more than we realized when we were there. Anyway.... it's encouraging to know that there are many other people whos eyes are being opened to the fallacies, heresies, and thievery of word of faith churches. Thank God for scales being removed so that we can see through deception. Thank you for your site. ddcw Monday 01/01/2001 9:59:42am Name: Jim Wiita E-Mail: j-wiita@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Comments: will submit a brief "experience" mail concerning my 14 years in the UPC- great site Gods Love and mine to you- jim wiita Sunday 12/31/2000 1:03:49pm Name: Robert Cook (Bob) E-Mail: Boblee12@ Referred By: Just Surfed In Location: Comments: Was in a oneness church for 3 yrs before I felt like I could live up to there standards. I tried to live the life as best I could but always fell short. I though if I worked as a usher and helped out on weekend church projects and went to 4 services a week that I could do it, but ended with the same results, when I did leave my pastor said he felt my salvation was in question, but never did any brother's who I prayed and cryed with come call on me or as I read in the Bible can't remember where Take 2 or three and go to your brother. Well have not been back to church on a weekly basics. Well you know the rest. Lord bless, Bob Monday 12/18/2000 9:48:43pm Name: Jaque E-Mail: jaquboucher@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Florida Comments: This is not about a church but, a Martial art cult. Consumer BEWARE of any "self-improvement" groups that want thousands of dollars upfront with no refunds. There are no regulations on any of these spiritual organizations. Everyone looks up to their leaders and/or teachers and if they become involved in your personal life and if they tell you that you are special then RUN, RUN, RUN, as fast as you can. I have answered YES to 99% of the questions in the self quiz of "UNDER THE INFLUENCE". Respect has to be earned especially by our leaders, teachers, coaches or anyone in positions of power. Wednesday 11/29/2000 1:56:01am Name: John E-Mail: explorerjohn@ Referred By: Search Engine Location: Missouri, USA Comments: GOD BLESS THIS SITE! THE UNITED PENTECOSTAL "CHURCH???" INTERNATIONAL IS A CULT!!!!!!!! I AM A FORMER UPCI LICENSED MINISTER!!! THE UPCI IS A WORK BASED CULT!!! THE UPCI IS NOT EVANGELICAL, BUT HERETICAL!!!!!!!!! Monday 11/20/2000 9:32:45am Name: Rev. Johannes Myors E-Mail: pprayers@ Referred By: Just Surfed On In Location: USA Comments: Shalom from a fellow "Partner in Christ" through Christian World Daily. I just wanted to stop by and say hello. You have a very wonderful site. Please feel free to come and visit mine. Take care in Y'shua the Messiah. Monday 11/06/2000 3:51:45am Name: Randy Carlisle E-Mail: qzcoach@ Referred By: Just Surfed On In Location: Virginia Comments: I am an active member of the United Pentecostal Church. I am proud to be a member of this organization, and believe it represents the teachings of the Bible. I am also an independent thinker. I have no problem expressing my opinion both within the church when I am in disagreement with the leadership, and to other members of the church. It should be noted that we are just people, like any other group of people, not trying to harrass or discourage any one from any thing. This concept of "spiritual abuse" eludes me: I would call spiritual abuse a misrepresentation of the Bible or someone trying to control one's mind using the Bible. I do not feel this is being done in my church, or in any of the neighboring UPC churches I frequent. Certainly some have had bad experiences within the UPC, but this does not mean the UPC is part of a concerted effort to destroy people's lives. As long as individuals are involved in any activity, there will be those who are discontented and speak ill of that organization. I would also say this: I took the quiz, and found one question particularly disturbing, "do you have trouble with short term memory?" [Lois' note: Again, the quiz is a link to another web site not affiliated with the Spiritual Abuse site. You will need to contact them for an answer to your question.] I fail to see the relevance of this medical condition to "spiritual abuse." I find the whole premise of this website suspect and negative, and was very disappointed to see it had acquired the "Christian site of the week." There in nothing Christian about tearing down, when we have a Christ who came to seek and to save the lost. Thank you for taking the time to read this note. Saturday 10/14/2000 10:36:32pm Name: Dee Ann Miller E-Mail: write-on@ Referred By: Just Surfed On In Location: Iowa Comments: I am an author, specializing in the spiritual issues surrounding abuse within churches. Standing up against the system cost my husband and I our careers, and sent our lives (and that of our children) catapulting in new directions. The result has been an exciting, but difficult, ministry. God bless you.... Dee Ann Miller, author of How Little We Knew and The Truth About Malarkey Tuesday 10/10/2000 2:00:52am Name: Wayne Thompson E-Mail: Mrwayne51736@ Referred By: From a Friend Location: Texas Comments: I took the "self quiz" and I strongly disagree with the author; if you don't answer "yes" to some of the questions about your "belief system" then maybe you should look for another "belief system". My "belief system" is the Bible. [Note from Lois: All the quizzes are from other web sites not at all connected with the Spiritual Abuse web site....just so you realize this!] Wednesday 09/20/2000 2:46:27am Name: Mary Willits E-Mail: mary_willits@ Referred By: Just Surfed On In Location: Mill Hall, Pennsylvania Comments: Our family is dealing with the aftermath of spiritual abuse from a Penecostal Church we attended for two years. I am new to the internet thing, and still a little skeptical of communicating over the net. I am simply seeking out any and all information that may help us put things back into perspective. Thanks for your insight. Thursday 09/14/2000 0:53:55am Name: Gabriel J. Rivera E-Mail: deltagrd@ Referred By: From a Friend Location: Santa Maria, California Comments: Thank you for the information you have provided. It's been a real help for me to understand more about the "Unitied Pentecostal Church International" or "Oneness belief." I've been bornagain in the trinity and Salvation by faith belief and come into question about my own salvation when I had talked to a Oneness Pentecostal for around 6 months. It made so much sense about what he was saying concerning being baptize in the Name of Jesus. And when I approached a pastor and others who have been in the faith a long time, from my belief, they could not give me a answer as to why we don't baptize in Jesus Name like in the book of Acts. Their answer was, "We baptize according to Matthew 28:19." It did not satisfy me because even though they showed me Matt. they couldn't explain baptism in Acts. The only explaination they gave me was, "because they didn't acknowlege Jesus as God, they baptised you in Jesus' Name or you where associating yourself with Jesus or you were showing that you are a follower of Jesus." I kepted on telling them that I didn't want their opinions but wanted to see it in scripture and they couldn't. And during that time I was misriable thinking I wasn't saved. It wasn't until I read books and articles from others and yours that I came to a understanding and peace. What really helped was reading books from those who were or were pastors in the Oneness movement. I haven't been completely throw your site, but I'm hoping to find more on the Oneness belief and find more links to other sites on the same topic. Thank you Saturday 09/09/2000 5:09:29am Name: Robin Edgar E-Mail: Its available on my web site Referred By: Just Surfed On In Location: Verdun (Montreal) Quebec, Canada Comments: Your web site is valuable in that it clearly acknowledges that there are other forms of abusive behavior by clergy and religious communities besides the ever prevalent sexual abuse. I truly believe that one of the primary reasons that religious communities now place so much emphasis on sexual abuse by clergy is to hide or deny the various other forms of abusive clergy misconduct. I was "excommunicated" by the congregation of the Unitarian Church of Montreal for publicly protesting spiritually abusive, and otherwise damaging, behavior by its minister Rev. [name edited]. The UCM's congregation and the appropriate authorities within the Unitarian Universalist Association abjectly failed to respond in responsibility to my legitimate and quite serious grievances about this spiritually abusive treatment. Rev. [name edited], of the Unitarian Universalist Association's Ministerial Fellowship Committee, which is responsible for "oversight" of clergy misconduct, actually had the gall to state in writing that Rev. [name edited] behavior was "within the appropriate guidelines of ministerial leadership." The current president of the UUA, Rev. Dr. [name edited], berated me for bringing Rev. [name edited] abusive clergy misconduct to the attention of the Unitarian Church of Montreal's congregation after he, the MFC, and the UCM's Board of Trustees had failed to deal responsibly with my grievances. The gory details are available from my web site. I will be creating a web site dealing with spiritually abusive clergy misconduct within the Unitarian Universalist religious community. Fortunately I have found some fellow UU's who acknowledge the abusive treatment that I have been subjected to by Rev. [name edited]and the others mentionned herein. Would that others were so lucky! Ironically all this callously abusive treatment arises from the fact that I am claiming a profound revelatory, indeed prophetic, religious experience and was seeking the church's cooperation in validating my claims and sharing the information with the greater religious community. So what's new! Best Regards, Robin Edgar Thursday 08/24/2000 5:14:49pm Name: Carlos Jaramillo E-Mail: abusoespiritual@ Referred By: Viewing another Guestbook Location: Colombia Comments: Hello, Lois Gibson I'm very happy to find a site like this. We really need it. I'm a exmember of a PUC in Colombia (Iglesia Pentecostal Unida de Colombia) and I know how they work. But the problem is that the PUC is no the only congregation that abuse of their people, it can hapen in any other bible based church, the only think somebady neeeds to abuse is a pastor that does not responsabity with no bady in the church. There are two ways to abuse people:the first is the one uses the PUC, the legalism,they want the people to be "espiritual" for their good. But the other way is when the pastor abuse looking for his fame over the espiritual interest of the people. I think this way of abuse is worst. I'm sorry for my inglish. My primary idiom is spanish. I'm a theological student and i'm working im my final work for the degree of licenciature in pastoral studies. The work is about the espiritual abuse in biblical based churches in Latin America. This page is very good to help people that has been abuse. Congratulations. Pleace write to my adress later. I know you're so bussy. Cordially, Carlos Jaramillo Sunday 08/20/2000 10:12:31pm Name: M.D. Davis E-Mail: dylan13@ Referred By: From a Friend Location: Iowa Comments: Please consider adding my website http://www.gospelassembly.com to your list of links. It exposes a pentecostal organization based in Des Moines, Iowa. Thanks! Monday 08/07/2000 7:56:28pm Name: Rev. Richard M. Ward, Jr. E-Mail: rmwreg@ Referred By: Yahoo! Location: Little Rock, Arkansas C omments: Just wanted to say that I feel you do a very good job of allowing certain "man made" doctrines to be exposed. I too was raised as a 6th generation UPCI child. I remained a part of the organization until I was an adult in my late 20's. I today pastor a non-denominational church, which is openly affirming and inclusive of all of God's children. It is such a wonderful revelation to know that God loves ALL people and His message of love and salvation is free and open to all, without meeting "man-made criteria". While I do not believe that the UPCI is representative of all UPC ministers beliefs, I am concerned that many of the "autonomy minded" ministers are progulmating their own personal blief system upon their members. Often to leave a church like this, the member is publicly denounced as being a sinner or backslider, and is called rebellious. As far as I can tell, the only requirements for salvation are those found in the New Testament, and frankly there are very few legalistic practices addressed in the New Testament. If we are going to incorporate Old Testament Standards or Law, the according to Paul, we are denying the very power of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection. Paul also states if we are going to keep part of the Law, we should obey the full or whole law. I suggest that each person follow acripture, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling....do not allow the pastor, minister or any other individual to dictate your spiritual relationship with Christ. Thanks for all of the wonderful resources found here. God Bless, Rev. Rick Thursday 08/03/2000 8:31:44pm Name: Rhonda White E-Mail: QuiltGma@ Referred By: NewsGroups Location: Sacramento, CA Comments: I left UPCI in 1983, graduated from Christian Life College (Stockton, CA) in 1972 and High School there in 1968. Joined the church in 1963 and spent my teen, 20's and 30's as a member. Raised both of my daughters in the church, and one still attends Christian Life Center in Stockton. Left because I was getting divorced and would no longer be allowed any kind of ministry. I am now a member of Open Bible Church in Fair Oaks Ca and have a teaching ministry. My sister and I have both had some problems adjusting to the freedoms allowed in other churches, although I sometimes think I have done better at adjusting. It's a struggle that never ceases. I look forward to your group and reading what others have dealt with, and I would love to talk to others who haven't quite made the separation. Friday 07/21/2000 7:20:31am Name: Web Shepherd E-Mail: Referred By: Just Surfed On In Location: Rockville, MD Comments: What an excellent site of resources you have here for the spiritually abused. If you ever want to see the "lighter side" such abuses, check out the humor section on our website. Especially our Assimilation Institute. It'd be really funny if it wasn't so close to the truth. Keep up the good work here ! Sunday 07/16/2000 11:10:41pm Name: Linda E-Mail: LHTEACHMINISTRY@ Referred By: From a Friend Location: Fresno, California Comments: Hi, Lois. As you suggested, I am writing this time to inform your visitors of my book False Holiness Standards. This 221-page book is a thorough investigation into what the Bible really says about how Christian women (men are included, too) should dress. A chapter is included for each of the following: wearing pants, wearing jewelry, wearing make-up, and cutting hair. Also included is a chapter about whether the King James Bible is the only true Bible. For each entry, I have highlighted the biblical passage, which may contribute to modern confusion and have shown how various biblical translations may be misread or misunderstood. I then place the item into the context of the culture and history from which it originated. Each entry is framed with examples from the Bible and descriptions from my historical research. I encourage you to get this book if you have any questions or doubts along these lines or even if you simply want to know more about what �holiness� really means. I spent most of my life being taught that �holiness� was wrapped up in my outward appearance, although in my heart I didn�t believe it. I KNEW that it didn�t make sense, but I didn�t know WHY. The Bible says in Romans 14:5 that each of us must be fully convinced in our own mind about our personal convictions. It also says in I Peter 3:15 to �Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have�.� This is why I went to considerable lengths and time to seek out the answers to the questions posed in my book. I have done the work of research for you (with 5 pages of references); now I want to share what I have found with others. You can get my book by sending $12.95 total (tax, shipping or handling is included) to my home address: Linda Hopper, 8406 N. Classics Ave., Fresno, California 93720. Please remember to include a return mailing address. You can see a picture of the book cover and also find out more about me by going to our church website: www.vtabernacle.com. Thank you and God bless. Tuesday 07/11/2000 9:36:00pm Name: Kandra and Jeff E-Mail: Referred By: Net Search Location: Wisconsin Comments: I'll be back, still a lot of questions, I'll let you know how it all turns out. Tuesday 07/11/2000 4:45:38pm Name: Linda E-Mail: LHTEACHMINISTRY@ Referred By: From a Friend Location: Fresno, California Comments: Dear Lois, You have created an amazing forum for loving and helping people in your website. I am convinced, after reading many articles and letters here written by people who just need to talk or share their stories with other Christians, that God has blessed you with an unselfish ministry of healing and hope. The potential is awesome. It takes courage and confidence in God's direction to do what you are doing, and I applaud you and thank you. I will be praying for this ministry that God will lead those who really need help to this site and that they will be led to the right sources and resources. God bless you, Linda Hopper. Monday 07/10/2000 9:23:44pm Name: Jason Friesen E-Mail: japhthor@ Referred By: Net Search Location: Robson, British Columbia, Canada Comments: Spiritual abuse is a touchy subject: there is lots of evidence of rebellion and antinomianism in churches and the Body. Still, the hyperauthoritarian response to rebellion has damaged far more people than rebellion has. The rebel's blood is on his own head. The hyperauthoritarian must account for hundreds (or more). Thanks for the links to articles to share with those inside hyperauthoritarian regimes. Feedback 2003 Feedback 2002-2003 Feedback 2000-2002 Feedback 1999-2000 Feedback 1999 Page added June 18, 2005
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